A Happy Ending...

I know how the book ends. Trust me. So turn back to that page where your bookmark sits, waiting for you to live the way you were meant to live, savoring every moment.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

The New and Improved Trishy, fo' shizzle!

I've got mad street cred now...

Yes that's right, folks. I am now the proud owner of the Urban Dictionary: Fularious Street Slang Defined.

After verbal slip-ups too numerous to count, my boss made the inevitable purchase, hoping to nip the next few in the bud. He had simply had enough of my lip. You see, he eats baked chicken every day, so one day I called him a "chicken head" and apparently that has some dirty meaning that chicks like me don't know. So, he sent me to urbandictionary.com to check it our for myself. I urge you to go there my friends before you make such a slip of the tongue. Wow, did I just say "slip of the tongue" in reference to "chicken head?" I'm dirty and I didn't even know it.

Anyway, this book is great for a girl like me. Allow me to educate you on a few of the things I've been learning. PS - this is a great bathroom read. The entries are short and to the point and you learn some "mad street cred, fo' shizzle." Damn, I'm white.

do the math To give someone your telephone number, or to ask someone for their telephone number.
Ho, you be fine. Do the math for me.

(In my day, do the math meant "figure it out for yourself." Apparently, I'm light-years behind.)

chirp 1. To emit a short squeal from the tires when launching a car of changing gears. Yo, bro, I just chirped third gear in my Civiv. 2. To call someone on the phone, usually when you want a booty call or just to chill with them. Yo, I'm 'bout to chirp my slideoff, son. I'll holla at you. 3. to puke, vomit, throw up. After a long night of drinking I gotta chirp so I don't feel all hung over the next day.

bend a corner To provide transportation for; to drive by and pick up. Yo, Dave, can ya bend that corner for me, dawg?

blacklight Barbie A woman who appears much prettier in the blacklight at a party or club than she really is. Seeing Whitney in the daylight, I realized she was a total blacklight Barbie.

purse out For males only: to not do something because of a girly reason, to wuss out. Tim was going to go to the bar with us tonight, but he pursed out because he had to get up early tomorrow.

farting terms A milestone in a new relationship when both parties feel at ease when breaking wind in front of each other. You've been with that bird for a long time and you're not even on farting terms yet? Do you have to go to the bathroom every time you need to rasp?

wigger A pejorative term for a Caucasian kid who mimics the language, dress, and mannerisms of ghetto kids.
Wigger: Yo, bizzle, you best step off mah bread!
Suburban white girl: Didn't you get that do-rag at Hot Topic? And why are you wearing a FUBU shirt?
Wigger: Yeah, well...you know that's how we do...


I'm starting to feel like a bit of a wigger myself, so I think I'll end my first mad street cred lesson there. That, and I'm feeling Randy Jackson-isms creeping into my vocabulary more and more and that's just not right. Check it out dawg. Yo dawg, check it out. That man bugs the crap out of me. Seriously, I'd like to put him on mute.

So, I'm educated now. At least I know never to use the term chicken head again. Well, not to my boss anyway, although he pretty much just laughed till he hit the floor with no hard feelings. All in a day's work, my friends.

Trishy, OUT...

10 Comments:

  • At 12:13 PM, Blogger Lauren said…

    Court bought me Slang Flashcards for Christmas, and they rock. I learned a lot from them. But come to think of it, my dad has the cards and hasn't returned them yet. . .hmmm. Dork.

    Also, there's a rap song called "Chicken Head" that I used to like in high school. And I didn't know what the term meant until now. Thanks, Trishy! :)

     
  • At 9:30 AM, Blogger Rob West said…

    Hmm... I need to get this book. The Mayor is in want of mad street cred. Um... yo.

    I had no idea it was "pursed out". I always prnounced that slightly more vulgarly. Imagine saying "pursed" with a british accent. Similar to that. And I'm with you on "doing the math". I thought it meant eating at Arby's.

    Farting terms sounds like part of a legal contract.

    Ooh! My friend Tipsy knows a good one. It's not exactly negrospeak, though. When something goes all wrong, he calls it a "penis operation". "I tried to go to the ballgame, but it was raining and crowded and I my friends did show up... it was a huge penis operation."

     
  • At 9:31 AM, Blogger Rob West said…

    did you know thee's a little handicapped dude next to the word verification box? If you're blind or in a wheelchair you can click him and numbers come out of your speakers for you to type in the box.

    Makes SO MUCH sense.

     
  • At 9:42 AM, Blogger trishy said…

    I did notice the new addition of the little handicapped guy.

    I do not, however, understand your term "penis operation." It sounds as if you're comparing this part of the genitalia to things that don't work.

    If you mean it in the sense that it was not a well-though-through plan, then it makes perfect sense. As in, thinking with the wrong head.

    Every man hates me now, huh?

     
  • At 10:19 AM, Blogger Lauren said…

    Trish, that is just awesome. Both of your ideas for the explanation of "penis operation" crack me up.

     
  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger Leslie said…

    I prefer cluster fuck to penis operation. Everyone gets your meaning when you use it.

     
  • At 12:14 PM, Blogger trishy said…

    ahh, yes, it is good to be direct leslie

     
  • At 7:31 AM, Blogger Rob West said…

    Yes, my introduction of the phrase "penis operation" was a bit of a clusterfuck wasn't it?

     
  • At 9:39 AM, Blogger Chris said…

    Speaking of pejorative terms...

    I saw this picture and I'm pretty sure I choked on a wirty dord*.



    *Like an avocado, only it's not an avocado.

     
  • At 11:22 AM, Blogger trishy said…

    wow, cap'n...I saw that picture and I swear I could see people I know in every one of the faces. How's that for creep factor?

     

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