A Happy Ending...

I know how the book ends. Trust me. So turn back to that page where your bookmark sits, waiting for you to live the way you were meant to live, savoring every moment.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

New things I love

So, I began working on a post about the big goodbye with my family. Maybe I'll finish it, maybe I'll post it, maybe not.

We're here in Sewanee, TN. The trip was fine, although expensive. Luckily, my job is reimbursing us for most of it. Our house here is awesome. It's actually a duplex and our address says "apt." but for all practical purposes, it's a house. I'll post pics once we are really moved in (although we are well on our way). For now I just want to paint a picture of our new life by telling you of some of my favorite things we've done so far:

1. Trips to the Farmer's Market!! We've gone twice now, and it's becoming a ritual of sorts. One thing you should know is that tomatoes are "maters." So country, I know, but man, we've eaten the heck out of those maters. We've bought maters, onions, squash, peaches, blackberries, bananas, garlic, and fresh jalapenos. Oh yeah, and today we bought fresh green beans, which I've now snapped and will cook in a bit. We haven't eaten out once since we've been here, which is a HUGE change for us. And we both agree, we're not sick of eating at home. In fact, we love it! We've been eating such fresh and healthy food, we both feel great.

2. Going to the flea market today. We found a great rug for our living room for $60. It totally makes the room. And the price was great. The flea market was fun in general. Lots of old crap we didn't need, but so fun to look at! And then we found the Monteagle Mountain Market that was going on today and walked around there before enjoying some roasted corn. Yum!

3. Eating all of our meals outside. The weather is incredibe. It's July and we ate hot soup outside and never broke a sweat. It does get hot, but it's not the same kind of hot as Texas. At night, it dips down to 60 or so - I had to wear a sweatshirt at the BBQ last night. In July. Now that is incredible.

4. Sitting in our new rocking chairs on our back porch. Rich bought them for me as a surprise and I love them. Our porch is screened in, so no bugs or anything. Just a cool breeze and lots to look at and two rocking chairs to grow old in.

I miss my family. Alot. But life is good. It's somehow simpler, slower, and healthier and I've adjusted to it so quickly.

I'll tell you about my job later. I think I'm going to really like it, but it will be a HUGE challenge.

Be well my friends and peace to you from Rockytop.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Moving On

I'm not sure which I dislike more: moving or moving on. Moving sucks. We all know that. You don't realize that you have as much shit as you do until you start having to wrap every little trinket and every dish and put it in a box. Box after box after box you put your whole life into cardboard and step back and look at it and wonder how the hell you acquired so much stuff.

I can't help but think: it's all in boxes and yet I'm able to function these last few days. Do I really need all that stuff? And I'm also a bit of a pack-rat by nature, though not entirely so. And it's hard for me to know what is important to save and what is not. I think about the few things my mother saved from her childhood and her teenage years and I've LOVED those things. What do I have that my daughter (futuristically speaking) would want? What momentos do I want from high school, college, and my first few jobs. I'm terrified of throwing something away that I'll later regret, and yet in all the packing I've found myself throwing a lot of stuff away. There should be a "how-to" guide for moving. Heck, maybe I need one for life right now.

Back to my original point, all sap aside, I hate moving. It's a big sweaty pain in Houston, TX.

There's nothing I'll particularly miss about my apartment. It's tiny. It's on the third floor. I have yet to meet and neighbor and remember what they look like or their name. It's got high ceilings so it costs way too much to keep cool. Really, there is nothing special about this place. And yet, it's mine! When I moved into it, it was the first place I ever paid rent on my own. Moving into it was a triumphant move on my part. I had left the nest once before, but this time it was different. After a difficult few years, it was a move of independence, an emotional move from the nest. And I have loved every minute of living there on my own. I know every nook and cranny. I can reach for the refrigerator door that's missing a handle in the dark and know just where to grab it. My body wakes up just before the train drives by when I have my windows open in the winter. I know to never turn my fan off because the dust will fly all over my bed. Sounds like shit-hole, I know, but it's my place. And now I am leaving it.

And then there's my job. I'm not particularly attached to the work that I do, although I have enjoyed it for the most part. And I don't have an emotional attachment to the majority of the people at my office. And the ones I do, I already know that we're only a phone call away. And I hate the building I work in. It's a meatlocker most days, until the AC goes out, which it does frequently, and then it's flaming hot. And yet, as I walk through the halls in these last days, I get sad. I'm such a sentimental thing, I can't imagine not coming here everyday. I can't imagine not seeing these familiar faces. I'm also training a couple of new people on different aspects of my job, and it's hard for some reason. You want to think that you aren't so replaceable, but I know we all are. One particular woman I am training doesn't seem to want me to teach her anything - like "I can figure this out on my own" and that is frustrating. When I came in, I HAD to teach myself and trust me, it wasn't fun. They've purposely brought her in early so that I can work with her, and I already feel like "out with the old, in with the new."

These two small details aside, the one part of this move that is next to impossible is leaving my family. I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it.

I think I shall have to save that for my next post: Moving On, Part II (READ: Not Moving On)

Be well, friends and readers.